Not a boss. Literally bossy.
I get the high profiled Ban Bossy campaign…I think. I have no issue with being a leader and striving towards equal rights with men in the workplace.But I don’t mean that.
I started online dating which is as much a test of my intuition and shit detecting skills as I remember it being.
I’m talking to this guy and gently suggest he should upload more than one pic. I explained the unwritten rule about one-pic profiles (actually it’s well documented on girly forums, girly magazines and girly blogs where any man serious about finding a wife should be frequenting…no?) and his nonchalant response was something along the lines of him not being vain enough to post more than one pic of himself. Was that a read? I mean I have three (one glam, one natural, one very recent – obvs) is that vain?
So I see that he updates his profile to the grand total of FIVE photos and he promptly ceases his pursuit of me. No more ‘Hey, how was your day?’ Nothing. Huh? I upgraded your dry ass profile and now you grace me with your cold shoulder. Bet you he’s married by now. All because of my advice. Thank me later blouis35!
Another guy, told me he’d be online that evening at 8pm. Now you gave a time. As far as I’m concerned that means you will be online…at 8pm! 8:30 comes and goes so I message him like ‘whats up, have you stood me up?’ He says ‘Nah I’d never do that to you’ even though he just did, and then nothing. I dont know am I being being a bit much.
I get it. Most men like a chase and I have to play some games.Get our flirt on blah blah, but I’m being real – I just wanna hang out, get to know you and enjoy a few dinners and shows together. If I have an opinion about something, why do I have to act like I don’t?
Anyway, this got me thinking about how I am with my friends and family and I can’t lie the bossy thing isnt news to me. I’ve been told before….even my mum has told me! In my head its my opinion and I’m simply expressing it. However, the language can be quite…. instructional.
This has to be annoying sometimes because like most bossy people, I myself don’t like being told what to do.
Being more thoughtful about my choice of words doesnt need to take away from my boss-ness. When it comes to growing a business I need to be a decision maker, I need to lead others and I need to be able to express my thoughts and opinions clearly….
But around my peeps and potential future hubbys maybe a softer approach.