Last week the sun finally came out and I dug out a bit of summerness from my wardrobe. Nothing short. A horizontal striped pencil skirt to be exact. In fact similar to the outfit below but a black V necked top, no midriff and I was wearing flats not heels.
Anyway, I’m explaining all of this because I had a crappy experience on my way home that evening. It was around 9pm, a little dark and cooler so I had on a demin jacket. I have to walk through a couple of back streets to get home because I live in the back streets.
Well I turn the corner of my road and I hear a man yelling. As I get closer I realise he’s yelling at me! Like literally shouting as he crossed over to my side of the road “Oh my god! Oi you know you look sexy innit?! Can I talk to you? Yeah wiggle that ass” (as I almost broke into a sprint to my door).
During the day I was ok with the odd stare and occasional cheeky look back, but I can’t deal with some random dude screaming a barrage of ‘compliments?’ at me in the street in the middle of the night! Who does that? And of course I can’t shout back at him because I’m not trying to make it on the 10 o’clock news.
I remember being in my early 20’s and going for drinks with a couple of girls from work. One of my colleagues was very pretty and had that high polished look. Full make up, always wore skirts and had a very feminine presence. One day she commented on my figure and asked why I never showed it off. When I told her I just didn’t feel comfortable doing that, she gave me a really confused look like ‘Why?’.
When I think about it now, the reason is because I’ve always felt fearful of unwanted male attention (like my experience that night). Do some women receive that type of attention as a compliment? Because I’ve always preferred to start a conversation with “Hi” rather than “Yo” and I’ve always appreciated “beautiful” over “sexy”.
No doubt the guy the other night was just an idiot doing what idiotic people do and I’m not sharing this story as a proud show-offish moment. We’ve all had the odd comment, whistle or whatever. But this incident was a little different. It wasn’t playful or flirtatious. It was aggressive and somewhat intimidating. Did I attract this guys attention in some way? You know like how they say dogs smell fear. It also made me wonder about how I carry myself. If I make more effort with my style I’ll no longer ‘blend in’. And when standing out how do I become more comfortable with different types of attention? Where does that kind of confidence come from?
As I touched on before I’m currently looking for books about femininity and how to own it. I’m considering ‘Powerful and Feminine’ by Rachael Jayne Groover as my first read. I’ve read some great reviews so may go ahead and purchase that this week.
I know some of you are reading this like “it’s really not that serious”, and have no idea what I’m going on about. That’s fine. But for those of you that understand, I’ll be sharing what I learn so please subscribe to the blog on the main page for updates and information.
If you have any book recommendations for me please leave them in the comment section below, I’d really appreciate them.