It’s ok Hustlettes, I am not planning on turning this into a whingy blog about men. God knows there are enough of those! But as I approach my 32nd bday I have to wonder what’s going on!?
I look around at my friends and I am happy for those that are settled down with children (married or single). I realise that if I wanted children already I could’ve had them and if I wanted a man I could have one of those too. But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
I have been on the verge of settling a number of times. With guys who were so close I felt ready to give up on trying to find the ‘other’ things. But one thing to consider when you choose to settle, is the possibility that that person is also settling for you! And so what is the point of both of you being half happy, waiting for the other to miraculously morph into your ideal partner. And the more you point out your partners shortcomings the more it dawns on you that it’s really not him…its you!
So I guess I know why I’m single. I do have a list and it’s there for a reason. To stop me from trying to ‘make it work’ with some guy that I gradually pick away at because he is not right for me. And there are as many girly mag articles about the importance of having a list as there are suggesting you don’t have one but I like to use the analogy of going grocery shopping with no list. What happens? You browse and take ages to make decisions about what you want. You pick up a whole bunch of things you neither want or need. You finally get to the check out and look at the crap you’ve picked up during this particularly long shopping run and realise what a waste of time it was. And once the cashier totals you up you keep looking at the green numbers on the screen like, how much? The shopping trip cost you big time and you walk out the door feeling like it just wasn’t worth it.
So I have my list and I’m sticking to it. It has nothing ridiculous on there. I’ve realised that as long as there’s an attraction there I’m not caught up with the ‘6 feet tall, earning 6 figures, with a 6 pack’ school of thought. Just things that are important to me like how he treats me and other people, what his ambitions are in terms of quality of life (not just material things) and what I can bring to his life.
Deep down I know that once I’m over this particular phase of my life and find some stability again, both in terms of my lifestyle and finances, he will show up…
When the queen is ready, the king will appear!